Yesterday an amazing thing happened to me during class. All of a sudden, the sequence of asanas I was doing clicked into flow. This had not happened before, and the reality of it, the feeling of it surprised me. It almost caused me to lose the flow, but immediately something else happened; I was no long doing the asanas…they were ‘doing’ me! My muscle memory was performing the movements while my mind was occupied in the experience of how good flow felt and simply being. How delicious it was, how ecstatic it felt, how grateful I am.
This feeling of being was not entirely unfamiliar to me, however it was the first time I have experienced it with yoga. Once, and only once I experienced it as a runner when I broke through what is called ‘the wall’. The wall is a place that athletes long to break through, it is when your body seems unable to make one more step, not able to make one more effort when suddenly it is as if you are floating through the action, as if something has taken over and you are now being runned, being swam, being bicycled and so on. In meditation I have experienced the profound feeling of being breathed, no longer in charge of breathing on my own, as if my body were a living bellow and breath was moving in and out of me with no effort being made on my part.
These kinds of experiences make me giddy, make me want to laugh like a child on a swing, swinging higher than ever before, and daring yourself to go even higher. Experiencing this kind of delight of is addictive. It is like falling in love with a lovers’ body; you want to immerse yourself in his skin, breathe his breath, allow your hands to become drunk on the feel of him. What happened in class caused me to become enamored with my own body, to fall in love with new found strength, grace and capability. I wanted to do the whole class all over again, immediately, just to feel that simple, easy flow. I found an embrace in that experience, unlike any I have ever felt before; I found myself in the arms of yoga.
‘To find yourself in The Infinite, you must distinguish then unite’ ~ Goethe