This week, I was not able to go to class at all; there is construction going in my apartment. I had to be home, so that my beloved felines did not escape, crawl into newly opened walls or get trapped under exposed plumbing fixtures. And believe me they tried. I really missed the studio, my teacher and the practice. I also missed getting up and out of the house early and stretching and working yoga through my body, my mind. I missed it so much, that I attempted to do it at home, alone, unsupervised. I was nervous…and excited.
Moon salutations, sun salutations, down dog, crouching tiger, cobra, twists, child’s pose…I was physically doing yoga, but something was off, something was missing. I worked through it all again. Still missing something. What to do?
I sat on my mat. I laid back on my mat. I laid on my side. Rolled over to my back again. My hips suddenly, spontaneously lifted into bridge pose, and it felt good-really good. I closed my eyes and strengthened my bridge, I imagined how strong this bridge was, how people could walk across my bridge and get where they are going. My breath was moving like ocean waves, my bridge was strong and still and…yoga happened.
I finished with tree pose, my absolute favorite. For the first time, I was able to lift my foot from my calf to my inner thigh and hold myself there while my hands moved from namaste to temple dancer, then reaching high over my head, arms swaying gracefully in the breeze. For a few moments I was a tree; rooted, flexible, reaching and yoga flowed easily through me.
It occurs to me now, that nothing is ever really ‘missing’, we are either in the flow or trying to get there.